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Living Without The One You Cannot Live Without #Giveaway

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Many of my regular readers over at thriftymommastips.com know this past year has been a hard one. Right before Mother’s Day one year ago my Mom passed away. The loss of a parent is much harder than I could have ever imagined. It is fraught with little emotional land mines you sometimes don’t see until you are crying or heartsick.

Recently a publishing contact sent me this book Living Without the One You Can’t Live With Out: Hope and Healing After Loss. I assumed the book would be self help, but it is a different creature entirely. Living Without the One You Can’t Live Without is a subtle, quiet, realistic book of poems by a lovely remarkable woman named Natasha Josefowitz. Josefowitz published this shortly after her husband of many years passed away. They were married 35 years. Josefowitz was born in Paris to Russian parents. She earned her Master’s degree at 40 and her PHD at 50. That alone is reason to support this author. What a brilliant career feat! She taught the first course in the US on women and management in 1976. She is remarkably accomplished, and much of that achievement came later in life. I liked her even before I picked the book up and began reading.

The poetry within Living Without the One You Can’t Live Without is sombre, and realistic and dripping with emotion. It takes you into the doctor’s offices and the recovery spaces at home, then it whisks you off to the funeral, the days and months after when survival is your operating mode. This is a lovely book, simple and true. The poems aren’t forced or rhyming. They are lyrical at times and not at others. They are mostly helpful for anyone who has experienced loss. The poems are sometimes hard to read in a psychological sense, but they speak clearly to the experience of grief. I really like this book and I am struggling to find the words to tell you why exactly, which is odd for me. But I want to say that there is comfort in common experience and this is the place where Living Without the One You Cannot Live Without excels and dwells. It will not take away grief or pain, and it will not preach how to grieve at you, instead Josefowitz’s words will help you feel less alone and there is much to be said for that.

I have a copy of this book to give to one of my readers. Follow the instructions below and PLEASE don’t forget to leave me an email address or something to help me track you down if you win. Good Luck! This is open to Canada and the US.

Best Fiction Books for the Sandwich Generation – The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

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The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry tops my list of best fiction books of 2012. It is a riveting read, emotionally wrought, relevant, contemporary and lyrical. So why did it take me well over a month to read this story? Well, life is busy over at thriftymommastips. No question my books list and reviews are piling up, but this one from the start caught me and captured my imagination. But my ever growing list of jobs and reviews is not the sole reason this took me so long to read. Have you ever picked up a book that cut so close to the bone you struggled to finish, while simultaneously wanted to plow on, letting it consume you? This is that book for me. No, I am not a senior citizen, nor is the author Rachel Joyce. I am not a disillusioned old guy searching for a way to make his last decade mean something. I am not his wife, the one left behind, or his son, the one who falls away despite best parenting practices. I do not have Alzheimer’s Disease, but I know far too many in my own life and greater circle of friends who have been devastated by this tragic disease. Perhaps that’s why this book weighed heavily on me.  It is simply magnificent and real. Most of all though, it is a story well told.
Harold Fry is a recently retired married man, father of one grown son. He is, by his own admission, a man who never really stood out, or up for anything. He worked; he lived. He did nothing extraordinary. At least until that last few years of life when out of the blue he received a letter from a former colleague named Queenie. She is dying and she has written him a letter telling him so. That in itself is heartbreaking. Then you add to the letter the realization that Harold wants to say a last good bye to this woman, who appears to have had some great emotional pull on Harold’s psyche. On top of this layer there comes the light bulb realization for Harold that, in his golden years,  he can sit still and wait for death to find him, or he can get up and move beating death back by the day. It is an easy choice, even if it is no simple feat for this aging unfit man to pick up and lace up and walk across country to say his last good bye.
So Harold, much to the dismay of his wife, picks up the phone and impulsively dials his friend Queenie and he tells her, leaves a message for her with hospice staff, I am walking to see her and she must not die before I get there. This might have been a story on its own if he had hopped in a car and driven to visit her and maintained a relationship of some sort in her dying days. But this is not that tale. It is the story of his walk and his inner journey. He believes he can save her. His wife, at first, thinks him insane and belittles him, before she eventually comes around. “You can’t save people from cancer Harold. Not unless you are a surgeon. And you can’t even slice bread without making a mess. This is ridiculous.”
Along the way, despite the misgivings of his wife and the idle gossip of his neighbours, Harold becomes a champion as media catch wind of his pilgrimage. He is on TV, radio and in papers. Others begin to join him, one a strange hanger on and a bit of a hippie who seeks fame and reminds Harold of his son.
There were many times this book had me holding my breath emotionally waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. It seemed that Harold and Maureen were dancing around some sort of issue in their marriage – a potential affair, a looming divorce? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it and speculated throughout the first three quarters of the book. All is revealed in the denouement. Author Rachel Joyce constructs an atmosphere of reality based fiction and yet towards the end commits a small magic trick that is brilliantly revealed as long closed doors of Harold’s memory swing open. 
 I can see Harold Fry as a play or a movie adaptation. It is built to last and the characters are endearing and some are quirky as well. I can envision this book being bid on by half a dozen movie producers right now as I write this. Harold Fry is a contemporary Forest Gump for seniors and the sandwich generation. It could be a crazy hit as an independent film company flick, or a runaway blockbuster for the seniors. The simplicity of this story transcends the art form. It would be every bit as brilliant staged properly. 
The author Rachel Joyce is an actress who lives on a farm in England. Joyce is also an award-winning playwright of more than 20 original plays for BBC Radio 4. She lives on a farm in England with her husband and four children. She is working on another novel.
Harold Fry is stunning and gorgeous and you won’t regret reading it, even if it takes you forever to get through because of the emotional topic. I give this one my highest rating because it is brilliant and Rachel Joyce turns the idea of an Alzheimer’s brain over in her hands and deftly recreates Harold’s inner reality with such skill it is sheer magic. She allows each of the bit characters on Harold’s pilgrimage to seamlessly unlock a small part of Harold’s personality or memory. It is done so well you hardly notice she is doing it. Obviously Joyce is a gifted craftsperson here. There were times Joyce’s insights into Harold and the mystery of memory reminded my of Lisa Genova’s skill with neurological topics in books like Left Neglected. There were other times when I felt this might have started out to be a bit like About Schmidt. Luckily Joyce is her own writer and she told her own unique fiction story here in Harold Fry.
I finished this book at long last while reading the end in public and working out at the YMCA. I do not recommend this setting for the end of the book as I had to bite my lip not to start crying openly.  
The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry, by Rachel Joyce, Double Day, Random House Fiction, $29.95, 320 pages, also available by ebook.
This one gets $$$$$ out of $$$$$. My highest rating. A great Christmas gift for the book lover on your list.
I received a copy of this book to facilitate review. My opinion is all my own. Get it to gift someone for Christmas.